


Reverse, Rebirth

by ShatterTheNexus



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: 97 line, Alternate Universe, F/F, Loona MVs, interdimensional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:15:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21615922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShatterTheNexus/pseuds/ShatterTheNexus
Summary: In finding each other, they find themselves. A reason to fly, to run, to dive.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Jo Haseul, Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul, Jo Haseul/Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	1. These Burnt Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She ignores the warnings and dares to fly too close to the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the song "New" by Yves.

Sooyoung tries not to huff in front of customers, but the computer beeps incessantly. She takes a deep breath. Dull pain ripples across her back as she hunches over the table. She swipes her keycard again. The computer reboots for the third time. The screens above flash on. A minute passes without an error message. Instead, they loop the bowling alley’s advertisements. _Black light bowling from 10PM to midnight every Friday and Saturday! Buffalo wings and a large drink combo, only $9.99!_ Sooyoung sighs in relief, already reaching into her back pocket for a crumpled slip of paper.

“I apologize for the inconvenience. I’ll set up your new game, no extra charge. Please accept this coupon for your next visit.”

The wheels of the rolling chair groan in protest when Sooyoung plops into it behind the main counter. Her shift doesn’t end for another two hours and she’s closing tonight. She blinks only to see a blob on her laptop where the neat lines of her literature essay should be. Her elbow pops when she reaches for a cloth to wipe her glasses.

“Excuse me.”

Sooyoung glances up. This person sounds like a grown woman, carries herself like one, but even by Sooyoung’s horribly impaired vision there’s no hiding that short stature. Sooyoung slides the weighted, thick frames back up her nose. A squeak almost escapes her throat. It’s suddenly harder to breathe with a ridiculously cute girl leaning over the counter. Sooyoung tugs at the collar of her striped polo.

“W-what can I help you with? Is your lane n-not working?”

If only the ground would swallow her up. The girl’s smile is nothing less than angelic. And Sooyoung looks like a bumbling fool, stuttering, her lanky limbs curled into an old office chair with the foam falling out of holes in the seat.

The customer shakes her head. “I’m actually here for the arcade. Do you have change for a twenty?”

“Of course! Right away!”

Sooyoung’s hand darts from her collar to the cash register. She flinches when her name tag unhinges and clatters along the ground, sliding under the partition at their feet.

“S-sorry!” she mumbles. The crisp bills crunch in her trembling hands. She lays them out as she counts aloud. “Five. Ten. Fifteen. Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty.”

“Thanks, Sooyoung.” The employee freezes. The girl winks, handing her a twenty dollar bill and the plastic name tag. “You have a beautiful name, by the way. I’ll see you around?”

“See you…” Sooyoung waves awkwardly. Nobody’s there. Her stomach sinks when she realizes she never got a name in return.

~|~|~|~

“Sunwon.”

“It’s… Sooyoung, actually.”

“Whatever. I need another pair of shoes. These have gum on the bottom! Disgusting! Don’t you guys ever clean these?”

Sooyoung grits her teeth. From the corner of her eye, she spots an upperclassman giggling into a guy’s arms at Lane Seven. The girl flicks open a pack of gum and unwraps a new stick. She sneers back as if Sooyoung had spit in her food. Sooyoung takes the shoes without a word. She tosses them to the side and reaches for a new pair from a high shelf.

“I’m sorry for the inconven—”

The bully from calculus snatches the shoes before Sooyoung finishes the scripted apology. Sooyoung’s more than glad to see her back than those scrutinizing eyes.

“ _Poor thing_ , working on a Friday night,” says someone in the clique, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I hope that loser doesn’t show up at the Spring Fling. What an eyesore.”

Mr. Linebacker chuckles as he debates between a nine and ten-pound bowling ball. “As if any guy would ask her.”

It makes Sooyoung nauseous. The whispers that are too loud. The critical side-eyes. The poorly concealed snickers. Her knuckles turn white when she fails to block it out.

His friend nudges him in the gut. “Dude, do you think she’s…”

The entire group laughs, earning them some glares from the other customers.

A ball thuds against the oiled wooden tracks, pulling Sooyoung back to earth. Bitterness coats her tongue as she realizes she was staring too. Staring too long to be truly vengeful or irritated. The pretty ones get it all, even her attention, no matter how vile. Sooyoung hates herself for it.

She slaps on a neutral smile when someone approaches the counter.

“Hey there!”

“H-hey,” Sooyoung says in surprise. It’s the short girl who, for some unfathomable reason, loves the rigged claw machines.

“When do you go on break?”

Sooyoung narrows her eyes. Nobody shows interest in her schedule. Not even her parents. “Why?”

The girl shrugs. She picks at the corner of the waitlist clipboard and nods at the fast food joint by the far right lanes. “Thought we could grab a bite. Sounds like you’re hungry.”

Sooyoung raises an eyebrow. “I’m not—” Her stomach grumbles. Her cheeks flush red. The girl attempts, and fails, to hold back a snort. It sounds so goofy with a feminine drawl. Sooyoung rolls her eyes and cracks a smile, playing off how her pulse drums in her ears. “Fine, I’m starving. My break’s in fifteen minutes—”

“Sooyoung, mind watching the place for an hour? I’m really sorry, but I just got a call from the babysitter. I’ll pay you for your break!” The manager wedges his phone between his chin and shoulder while struggling to pull on a jacket. He’s out the door before Sooyoung can respond.

The girl knocks on the counter weakly. “Raincheck?” She bites her lip.

It should be illegal, looking the way she does. The leather jacket alone throws a wrench in Sooyoung’s nervous system. Her round, hopeful eyes melt Sooyoung into a puddle of goo. All Sooyoung can do is nod dumbly. Hey eyes follow the girl through the neon lights of the arcade. Something tugs in her chest.

“H-hey!”

The girl turns, hands in her pockets, walking backwards.

“W-what’s your name?”

The girl grins and dips her head. Perhaps it’s the glow of the machines that give her cheeks a rosy hue. She cups her hands around her mouth. Sooyoung catches a “HA—” Then the racing simulator triggers a booming crash animation with the words _WIPE OUT!_ She’s gone.

Scraping the gum off the shoes takes nearly ten minutes. It’s quite elastic; she’s sure her lovely schoolmates took the extra effort to smear it across the sole. She asks the guy at the arcade counter to watch the front. Once she’s in the bathroom, she scrubs her skin raw. It doesn’t feel clean enough.

When she returns, there’s a whole party waiting at the counter. They insist they have a reservation. Sooyoung doesn’t find one. Regardless, she works her magic while the bar distracts the parents. Soon the entire two bottom shelves of the shoe rack are empty. She glances at the door. Her manager isn’t back yet. The long billboard screen above the lanes bursts with color, signaling the start of Black Light Bowling. Sooyoung jams her key into a slot and flicks the switches. The kids go crazy. She can finally grumble in peace without anyone complaining about her attitude.

She gears up for a hearty dinner of two granola bars. She must be ravenous because the cloud of frying oil drifting from the in-house diner has never smelled so delicious. The strobe lights in the venue flash in time with the remix blasting through the speakers. When the beat drops, the whole place lights up before dousing the bowlers in darkness again. Sooyoung stares at the end of the counter in disbelief. She tentatively scoots over and bends down. She vaguely makes out the shape of fluffy, golden-crisp bacon cheese fries piled into a basket with a cup of barbecue ketchup. The steam fogs up her glasses. Her head whips around, but she can’t see anyone not wearing a white shirt. She grins and takes a fry. The crunch is music to her ears.

~|~|~|~

School is for mastering practical skills. For example: spatial mapping, time management, and mitigating unsavory social interactions. Sooyoung learns to put all three to use very quickly. It’s her last final before the sweet relief of summer break and hopefully the teenagers she’s been avoiding will take a cross-country vacation. She’s up an hour earlier than usual. Two extra staircases and a back hallway allow her to circumvent the morning crowds. Thankfully, she’s the first in her calculus class because coming any later means an aisle of feet waiting to trip her.

Except she’s not the first one.

Sooyoung cautiously approaches her desk in the back corner and reaches out. The soft, short caramel fur brings her comfort. The small bear’s head is perfectly round and trimmed, its ears merely nubs sticking out. It’s one of the only good prizes stuffed into the claw machines at work. She unfolds the note wedged between its tummy and the rose in its paws.

_Good luck!_

Her absence at the bowling alley dampened Sooyoung’s mood the past month. Sooyoung lays her head on the desk, wondering how two simple words can lift her mood. She closes her eyes. Recalling every detail of the girl’s face proves difficult, but Sooyoung’s never wanted anything more. Then she hears footsteps from down the hall. Her head shoots up. Hands swipe the bear off the desk and nestle it deep into her backpack. She flips through her binder as students trickle in, shoving her earphones in to drown out the world.

_My miserable appearances. Only then I learnt my new days._

The last ditch efforts at ego-wrecking jibes build around her. Sooyoung cranks up the volume on her music player and flips to the page on the Taylor Series.

_All my life. By my life._

~|~|~|~

The bowling alley provides a welcome blast of air conditioning to combat the late July heat. By the time her shift ends, it feels too cold. She watches the front doors obsessively. A raincheck seems indefinite. Sooyoung doesn’t like it.

She ensures the bathrooms and restaurant are empty. The arcade is a ghost town. The last of the customers kindly clean up their bench and return their shoes. Sooyoung peeks into the cramped office nearby. Her boss is scribbling the month’s expenses in the sacred, and poorly Christened, Bi-Bowl.

Halfway through wiping the spare bowling balls on the racks, the manager waddles out of his cave and bids Sooyoung goodnight. It’s creepy with only the sudden digital spurs and zings of the arcade to keep her company. She plugs an aux cord into her music player. The speakers crackle to life. The open space in front of the lanes looks inviting rather than deserted. The song picks up and the lingering insults fade out.

Sooyoung saunters down the steps to Lane Nine, each step more confident than the last. She tosses her jacket and glasses onto a bench. Hair ties drop in her wake. Brown tresses flow down her back, free from the tight bun it’s been confined to for the past eleven hours.

The energetic beat pulses along the wooden floorboards. Sooyoung runs her hands through her hair. Tension shoots out from her fingertips when she flings out an arm, a leg pointed the other way. She twirls mid-step and folds into herself. She’s perfectly balanced in a crouch. A grin stretches across her face as she whips her hair back. The chorus winds up. She struts backward feeling courage course through her veins. She shifts from one foot to the other like gravity is a hoax.

She grasps at the air wistfully, steps back, an imaginary spotlight shining down on her. _Her_ , the hero of her story. She reaches for the stars and spins on her heels. The melody cuts out; a clear voice rings through the speakers. Sooyoung breathes in, sings at the top of her lungs.

“Always. Always, all my life.”

Her limbs transition into hard-hitting moves on their own. A chest pop blends smoothly into a sway of her hips. The song tapers off into the last echoes of the chorus. She side-steps light as a feather. Lost in the music, her heel dips into a gutter.

Eyes squeeze shut and she braces for impact. Instead, a soft grunt comes from underneath. Sooyoung breathes heavily and the pants an inch from her ear don’t match hers. Small, strong arms wrap around her waist.

“Are you alright?”

Those sharp eyes Sooyoung had dreamt of stare into hers with concern. A warmth so intense it rivals the summer heat, with a comfort that banishes the harshest winter chill. A grin that’s goofy in the way her straight white teeth shine through, but feminine in how the corners of her lips curl.

“You took your time.”

Guilt flashes across the girl’s face before her grin morphs into a teasing smirk. “Were you waiting for me?”

“Yes.”

It must be the adrenaline talking. Deep down Sooyoung’s trembling. The strength in her voice impresses her. If there’s one thing she can decipher in her mess of emotions, it’s that she doesn’t want this girl to disappear. Not again. Not ever.

“Why?” There’s a shadow in the girl’s question. Something dark and hidden. Something so complex, it transcends them both.

Sooyoung’s tired of mind games. She’ll chase one thing at a time. She’ll be honest about that now.

“Tell me your name.”

The girl laughs so freely, Sooyoung can feel the vibrations against her palm on the girl’s chest. She drinks in the light that graces the girl’s features. How she embodies happiness and self-love. Sooyoung stares long and hard. After months, she wants an answer.

The girl concedes. Her tone is clear and cheery. “Haseul.”

“Haseul.” Sooyoung tests it out. It rolls off her tongue like silken water. She watches Haseul’s eyes shift down. Sooyoung calls out to her again, slow and purposeful. “Haseul.”

“Don’t… Don’t say it like that.”

Pride swells in Sooyoung’s chest at the raspiness of Haseul’s voice. She’d never held this kind of power before.

“Or what?” she challenges.

Sooyoung never thought the need for oxygen could feel so blissful. She gasps Haseul’s name over and over as Haseul whimpers prayers against her lips. Her fingers thread through Haseul’s soft hair. When she breaks the kiss, she almost laughs at how Haseul stares up at her with glossy, pleading eyes. What holds her back is how she must look the same, desperate and longing and vulnerable. Haseul leans up again, pulls Sooyoung impossibly closer by the waist, but Sooyoung turns her head. She kisses Haseul’s jaw instead, allowing herself that much. Her heart clenches at Haseul’s hurt expression.

“We should stop.”

“Why?” Haseul sounds tiny and exposed.

“It’s… wrong?” Sooyoung’s voice rises into a question. She doesn’t believe it, but everyone else does.

Silence befalls them. Sooyoung prepares herself to lose Haseul forever. But Haseul never lets go. She whispers in Sooyoung’s ear.

“There are _other_ places, you know. Places where it’s _right_. You. All of you. And me. Us.” She inhales when Sooyoung clings to her shirt. “Escape with me.”

Instead of floating away, Sooyoung feels herself tethered. From the way Haseul’s cheeks round up and she gently pulls Sooyoung in for one last peck, Sooyoung knows she mirrors that grin. Finally, she has no regrets. No doubts about herself. This foreign sensation of joy and freedom spreads through her like liquid gold, beneath Haseul’s fingertips dancing across her skin.

Haseul leads her out the doors for the last time. The city lights blaze past as they sprint hand in hand. The purple sky fades into streaks of pink. Faster, stories above the pavement, _faster._ Orange light bursts from the horizon, ripping open a new world.

It burns.

Sooyoung laughs.

They jump.


	2. When the Moon Rises (I Become You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He relishes in the moonlight, while she fears the break of dawn.  
> The last thing they want to do is lose her forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the song "Let Me In" by Haseul.

Haseul steps forward. The room is the same as it’s always been, but something feels unfamiliar. Like a bubble suspended in time while the world revolves around it, gaining momentum. Fingers streak across a dusty book cover. Curtains draw back to reveal a glowing full moon. Its craters are deep and textured, reflected in the shimmering tides below.

Eyes scan the bare wooden wall of the bedroom. Yet a wistfulness takes over Haseul as if the wall displayed a whole life’s tale. Haseul grasps at it. It slips away like smoke. Flashes of rooftops, of the sunrise, of dark hair and laughter failing to hide adorably large front teeth.

_No_ , Haseul thinks _, that can’t be right._ Jinsoul’s golden tresses are unmistakable. And her grin makes her teeth look small, makes her eyes look wide and curious.

The clock above the bed chimes midnight. It’s time.

Haseul pads over to a basin of water. A few splashes to the face feel like a cleanse after ages of wandering the desert. Haseul stares into the cracked mirror hung on the wall. Droplets stream down the sloping jawline and create soothing ripples in the basin. The reflection smirks back, reaching up to style the short hair to a peak down the center with a dab of wax from a dented tin.

_Why bother? Jinsoul always messes it up._

So Haseul continues. Because he’ll do anything to make Jinsoul happy. When he steps out the door, all is forgotten.

A storm brews miles above the humble fishing town. Clouds roll in to swallow the stars. A looming force forever chasing him. A boom shakes the ground, but Haseul doesn’t break step. He darts down the cobblestone roads, through the market square, behind the boisterous tavern with drunken guards, up the hill. The wind slices across his cheeks and grains of hail pound against his back. Jinsoul jumps when she spots that remarkable head of snow-white hair. She welcomes him with open arms. He lifts her easily, twirls them around. The thunder protests against their giggles. Their hands find each other’s naturally. Haseul pulls her onward, off the beaten path to a stone ledge that hugs the cliffside. He holds a protective arm around Jinsoul’s waist. The boulders crashing into the rocky abyss below don’t faze her.

It’s one of the many reasons Haseul loves her.

The tides are fiercer now. They slam against the foot of the cliff, clawing higher and higher, hoping to wrap around their ankles and fling them to the depths. Jinsoul staggers into the hidden cave. Haseul tumbles in right after. The raging sea sprays salty mist into the air. They lie spread-eagled on the cold floor, puffs of air diffusing from their pants, fingers locked tightly.

Haseul rolls onto his knees and crawls toward an ashy mound of sticks and sand. He digs around in his pocket for a bundle of fresh dry hay. The flint stones crackle in his palms. Sparks ignite when he strikes them together, a warm fire lighting up their haven. He crouches down to blow gently on the flames, nurturing them. He stares across the light and sighs.

Jinsoul embodies grace in every step she takes. Her touches are featherlight, caressing the scribbles on the cave wall. Stick figures drawn with jagged rocks. Letters carved with a rusted shucking knife. Soot smeared into handprints. She places her palm against the black splotch. Haseul holds her from behind and places his palm next to hers.

He closes his eyes, ears trained on Jinsoul’s low drawling laugh. It reaches deep within, nestles in his chest, calls it home. He feels a hand cup his cheek and pull him closer. Jinsoul kisses him with a playfulness nobody in their village possesses. With a passion the most robust fisherman wouldn’t show in a shipwreck. With a love so deep, it nearly cracks the earth, parts the sea, and shatters the sky.

He doesn’t understand how a renowned merchant’s daughter chooses a poor fisherman’s son over her line of wealthy suitors. But Jinsoul reassures him time and time again. It’s the calloused hands running down her arms that give her thrills. It’s the strong arms around her waist and the gentleness with which he spins her around to their low humming that lets her escape. It’s the heart that beats steadily, the warmth that never ceases when she sleeps in his hold, that keeps her grounded.

It’s the chance to run her fingers through needles of white hair however she pleases. Make it look like the goofy, evenly parted wig a duke from the kingdom dons. Make it resemble the dual-horned updo of the tavern keeper. Make it ruffled and mussed until she’s had her fun and her eyes flash with something darker, an allure that presses down on them. Haseul’s hair doesn’t stay in place anymore. He thinks (and she only allows him to briefly) that Jinsoul couldn’t care less, with her straddling his lap and teeth scraping against his bottom lip. No, she doesn’t care as long as her fingers can brush it back and pull him closer by the nape.

They’ve shared stolen pastries and smoked meats in this cave. They’ve shared tearful stories of loss and joyous celebrations alike. They’ve shared fairy tales, dreams, adventures. They’ve also shared fears. Tonight is no different as they lay by the firelight under a thick quilt, Jinsoul’s head on Haseul’s chest, the malevolent storm concealing their hideout.

“What’ll we do when your father settles your hand in marriage?” Because Jinsoul had smacked his shoulder one too many times for saying _you_ or _I_ instead of _we_. Haseul’s voice is low. It needs to be said, but he hopes his words aren’t willed into existence.

Jinsoul shrugs, her voice remains light. “I do not know. I guess you will have to ask for it first.” She grins up at him. He leans down and presses a soft kiss to her forehead.

“Can you see it?” Jinsoul asks. “A sky so blue, it blends with the sea. Gulls diving in and out of the water, great silver fish thrashing in their beaks. A humble cabin on the highest hill. A lovable mutt scampering around the flowers and herbs in the garden. A little girl with a handful of seashells for her father…”

“And a small boy, skilled with a knife by seven years, stars carved out of the finest wood for his mother,” Haseul finishes. “Yeah. Yeah, I can see it.”

Haseul would marry Jinsoul in a heartbeat. God, if he had the money, he’d knock on her window and ask her to run away. But he can’t promise her a life with a hearty meal every day in a safe home, where the sun shines and soldiers aren’t scouring the land for her. That and…

The shadows. The dormant ones that flit across his mind when he’s not careful. When he’s not focusing on the currents beneath the waves, the ropes in his hands, the wind against the sails, or the yield of his nets. When he’s not focusing on the delicate skin of his beloved, her blinding smile, her scorching touch, her unwavering faith. The shadows come when the sun rises, on random days. Sometimes they come months apart, sometimes mere hours. He only gets a few minutes of warning. He never knows why, just that he needs to disappear.

What sort of a lover would he be to subject pure-hearted Jinsoul to that?

A selfish monster. Sometimes the desire chains him down and rips him apart. He doesn’t know how he falls back together, but he always wakes up bathed in moonlight. Always alone. Always to Jinsoul missing him.

She’s kind like that. Understanding. Gives him space. Sometimes he wishes she wouldn’t. It would make the prospect of hurting her less of a burden.

“Where?” Jinsoul croons drowsily. She nestles under Haseul’s chin. “Where in the universe exists such a place? A place for us.”

“I don’t know, Love. But when I find it, I’ll take you there.”

~|~|~|~

Haseul wakes to a cool breeze tickling his nose. The wind blows some of the snow from above into the entrance of the cave like a dusting of powdered sugar. Seabirds land on the ledge outside, squawking at the morning sun.

_The sun_.

A pang hits him in the gut. His head throbs and the ceiling flips under him. He takes a deep breath to steady himself and brushes the hair out of his eyes. He freezes. It’s softer, longer. He lowers his hand. Gone are the callouses and veins, replaced by slender fingers and decorated nails. He blinks. His palms are rough again, his hair short and weightless.

He has to leave.

He slides Jinsoul off his chest as carefully as he can. He nudges her by the crackling fire to keep her warm. Shame churns in his stomach. A tear splashes on the stone floor as he crouches down and presses a parting kiss to Jinsoul’s cold lips.

He turns toward the rising sun. His pupils dilate; dawn has never looked so dim. The shadows come faster than ever. If he moves now, he might tumble down the cliffside. He risks the wait. He wills them to give him a moment’s reprieve. He pulls the image of the love of his life to the forefront of his mind, banishing the darkness.

There she is again. How curious. A tall figure reaching out to him, graceful in a way that shows she has control over her body. Dark curtains of hair brushed to one side, cascading down to her waist. A rounded face with big eyes and a teasing smirk. Clothing he’s never seen before, of bright colors and shining materials, showing more skin than any fair maiden would be allowed in the kingdom.

And yet, he’s inexplicably drawn to her. But how? How, when not a minute ago—

“Haseul.”

The sunlight burns. It takes a moment, but the shadows dissipate. The icy sea comes into view, deep blue, glistening with orange streaks and white sparkles. But the hand wrapped tightly around Haseul’s wrist burns more.

“Haseul, look at me.” Jinsoul sounds so broken, Haseul has no choice but to obey.

It feels like a millennium watching Jinsoul take it all in. She doesn’t gasp in shock, nor does she grip her chest in revulsion. She steps forward. Fingers thread through chestnut locks. They caress fuller cheeks and brush along a softer jaw. Her hands slide down to rest on Haseul’s chest, no longer flat and muscular. They rise and fall with steady breaths, searching for the familiar pulse that had lulled her to sleep the night before. She finds it. She tilts her head down, for this woman is shorter.

When their eyes meet, clarity strikes Haseul like a bolt of lightning. This is _his_ world. But _she’s_ supposed to be somewhere else. On the other side of the wall. She remembers, and so does he. Because they are one. Perhaps it’s the shadows’ last push to get her moving. Although someone’s waiting on the other side, she stays rooted in this cold cave.

Haseul needs to know.

“Do you think me a devil? A sin of nature?”

It’s curious how distinctly high her voice is. The words sound outdated. Haseul reminds herself, this is him speaking through her.

Jinsoul furrows her eyebrows at the most ridiculous query as if Haseul had asked whether the sky is above or if water is wet. She responds with a question of her own. “If I sought out my lover, would my journey lead to you?”

“Yes.”

“If I brought you the smoothest pebble from the shore, what would you do?”

Haseul has to smile. “I’d tell you we are not southern flightless birds, but I’d treasure it all the same. And…” It’s still hard to swallow reality, though Haseul’s have merged into a great mess. “And I’d dream of when you’d present another, so that I may fit a ring around your finger.”

Jinsoul’s eyes shine. Her voice is barely audible above the waves and the morning bells of the docks. “And if I told you to kiss me like the fourth night we met? When we sailed out on your father’s boat to the eastern island and spotted this cave from afar.”

Haseul acts on instinct. She pulls Jinsoul into her small frame by the waist and captures her lips. It’s a slow dance, intense nonetheless. Jinsoul tends to get carried away. She adds more pressure. Her impatience is obvious. But Haseul’s always been there to match her adventurous spirit. Haseul is passionate in ways that melt Jinsoul to her core. A hand slides up to Jinsoul’s neck, thumb rubbing soothing circles just below her ear where it’s most sensitive. Just like _he_ does.

Jinsoul breaks the kiss. They breathe the same crisp air, and she forces the words out before she can submit to her craving for another taste.

“You are still _my_ Haseul. Whatever you look like, however you speak, no matter your height—” Their chuckles sound strangled with sobs. She kisses Haseul’s head and presses a hand to Haseul’s heart. “You are still there, Love. And I will have all of you, if you will have me.”

Haseul feels the veil lift. The shadows seep out of her, whispering in disdain at having lost such a healthy host. They disintegrate into dawn’s light. Haseul’s spirit soars high and far.

All this time not knowing who’d she wake up as.

Finally, the shackles are broken and they walk the path to truth within.

All this time they were afraid of Jinsoul locking them out. But it was they who needed to let Jinsoul in.


	3. Tamed by Your Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She builds a falling symphony with her passion as her love rises to insurmountable heights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the song "Singing in the Rain" by Jinsoul.

Jinsoul relishes in the soft patter of raindrops. She’s been here for hours. Feet point north, shoulders lay flat on the asphalt, arms spread out wide with palms facing up to catch liquid diamonds. It’s amazing, this pocket realm she’s created. When her reality stifles her like the corsets she’s fitted for daily, she runs here. A reprieve.

The splash of footsteps alerts her to another presence. She smiles at the black void that is the sky, eyes closed in peace. Her patience is rewarded. Soft lips meet her own and long hair tickles her chin. The newcomer lays down facing the south end of the airstrip where abandoned metallic monstrosities wait in hangars. There’s a weight on Jinsoul’s right shoulder. She lifts her head to use their shoulder as a pillow. Arms line up parallel to hers. Palms press down. Their fingers interlock and Jinsoul can hear nails faintly scraping against the pavement. They’re both drenched to the bone. The rain is relentless.

“Why’d you call?”

Jinsoul laughs. “Do you stay for no other reason?”

Her head shifts sightly. A nose brushes up against Jinsoul’s jaw. “I come when you call. I stay for you.”

“Always the charmer. Such flattery is not necessary, not anymore.”

“If I stop chasing just because I’ve caught what I want, that’s as good as giving up. I’m done with giving up. So I’ll never stop chasing you.”

“What an enigma you are.”

The other woman scoffs, though Jinsoul detects a wide smile in her voice. “You understand a whole lot more than I could ever tell you.”

“Yves.”

“Hmm?”

“That is not your given name.”

Yves shakes her head.

“I wish to learn more, if I am to truly understand you.”

“So we’re playing twenty questions?”

Jinsoul furrows her eyebrows. Water pools on her forehead, then slides down her temple. “Why must we stop at only twenty?”

Yves chuckles, her shoulder shaking under Jinsoul’s head. “No, it’s— Never mind.”

Jinsoul tightens her grasp on Yves’ hands. “Why Yves, then?” She stares into wide, bright eyes shining back at her in the night.

“Because. I chose it.”

Though Jinsoul wants to ask a thousand more questions, wants Yves to dive into the tale behind her strange moniker, the answer is satisfactory. That’s how Yves is. Jinsoul wouldn’t have her any other way.

Yves raises her voice above the steady drizzle. “So why’d you call?” she repeats.

Jinsoul sighs. Thumbs rub the back of her hands reassuringly. She’s safe here with her. “Father has come to a decision. I am to wed a member of the High Council who is nineteen years my senior and hails from the capital.”

“Sounds sexy.” That earns Yves a flick on the forehead. Yves can’t resist Jinsoul’s pout, so she kisses her lightly on the cheek. “When’s D-Day?”

“In a fortnight.” Jinsoul marvels at how quickly she’s grown accustomed to Yves’ diction. She’s not quite in the habit of using it herself.

“Are you gonna show up?” There’s no humor in Yves’ voice now.

“I do not know. I do not want to,” Jinsoul adds quickly. “It is far across the kingdom. What if I cannot return? What if I cannot find another window, another ripple in time?”

Water seeps into the spaces between Jinsoul’s fingers. For once, she shivers. Yves digs around in the pocket of a leather jacket that isn’t hers and pulls something off her forefinger. Jinsoul feels warm metal draped across her neck. She lifts her head slightly for Yves to fix the clasp. Jinsoul places a hand over the silver ring on the chain, holding it close to her chest.

“It’s your decision. Just know you’ll always have me.” Yves says it so casually, but it echoes in the depths of Jinsoul’s very being. “We’ll find a way. You won’t get rid of me that easily. Unless, that’s what you want…”

It’s the first time Jinsoul hears uncertainty from Yves.

The words flow naturally. “My honor would crumble should I utter such a foul lie.”

Yves chuckles. “You’re incredible. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Jinsoul smiles wistfully. Her heart swells and she nearly loses the capacity to speak. “Yes, many times.”

Yves kisses the shell of Jinsoul’s ear. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?”

Jinsoul licks her dry lips, tasting a few of the clear droplets that fall endlessly. “There is someone for you too.” It is not a question. It is definitely an answer. “But—”

The world grinds to a halt. The rain slows in mid-air, warping around them, protecting them. Yves hovers above, elbows planted on the ground, her features upside down from Jinsoul’s view. She leans down. Jinsoul melts into the kiss, fiery from her sinful passion, tame from Yves’ cool nature. Fingers brush aside Yves’ dripping hair, trailing down the lines of her neck. Yves’ thumb ghosts over Jinsoul’s sharp jaw so painfully slow, Jinsoul whines. Yves smirks.

“ _And_ ,” Yves corrects.

“And?”

“And.”

Yves flips over and lays down again. They’re both breathless as the downpour resumes.

“Why’s it always raining?” Yves ponders aloud.

“I swallowed the sun.”

Yves barks out a laugh. Jinsoul remains peacefully still. Yves nods, thinking about the white hot trails Jinsoul’s lips have left on her skin during their countless rendezvous to this realm.

“Do you hate it?” Jinsoul asks despondently. “I can will it to stop.”

She raises an arm. The world slows again. The silence is deafening. Yves holds Jinsoul’s hand securely and brings it down, allowing time to flow as it pleases. The droplets on their faces coalesce into minuscule streams that cleanse their souls.

“I could never,” says Yves. “The rain is our love song. It’s like our little secret.”

“I treasure my little secrets. All of them. Though I do not wish them to remain so.”

“Secrets?”

Jinsoul hums.

“I think they’re kinda fun.” Yves is back to teasing.

“They are intimate.”

“But?”

“Not ‘but,’” Jinsoul frowns. “And. They are intimate, and I want freedom.”

“Tell me more.”

There’s a bit of desperation that excites Jinsoul to hear. It’s like Yves craves her voice, as much as Jinsoul craves her touch.

“I want to run without turning back. I want to dive without resurfacing. I want to reach the highest peak and hold the universe, unafraid and unlimited. I wish to indulge in you.”

They both know _you_ weighs heavily upon them, for Jinsoul isn’t just talking about Yves anymore. Their conversation reaches far beyond this bend in the many planes.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay,” Yves echoes. “We’ll do it. We’ll find it. A place for _us_.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that!” Electricity crackles in the air as Yves speaks faster. “Because there’s no time for burdens. No room for guilt. Only love and beauty and warmth. And you deserve it. _We_ do.”

When Yves puts it like that, Jinsoul doesn’t have the heart to refuse. They finally part and Jinsoul returns to her town. One last time, Yves promises. And Yves always keeps her word as long as their song is falling.


	4. Reverse, Rebirth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In finding each other, they find themselves. A reason to fly, to run, to dive.

Yves streaks over rooftops at top speed. Feet pound against concrete and traipse across tiles. Hands grasp at anything. She shimmies up thick pipes, vaults over ledges, scales down fire escapes and swings across metal beams. Her retinas burn, eyes trained on the rising sun. Always. But she keeps pushing. Her lungs are on fire. Her body screams for relief. She has to laugh. She’s never felt so alive. Nobody’s around to watch her, to scrutinize her, to point and jeer. It’s just her, miles above the ground, running towards the sky.

Soon she’ll be happy. Soon she’ll be complete.

She keeps running until there are no rooftops left.

Just as the first rays break the horizon, she jumps.

~|~|~|~

Haseul trudges up the blindingly white mountain. They fight against the unbearable chill and treacherous hail. A gust slams into them, suffocating them. They just smile. It keeps them awake and alert. It makes them work for it. The fresh snow crunches underfoot. A fox yips and flees from the wintery onslaught to its hidden den while hares scamper off, lightweight and quick. Tree branches, those still latching onto bare frozen trunks, are swept back parallel to the slope, leaves plucked cruelly long ago. They look back. Their tracks have already been filled in as if a ghost hadn’t dared to trek through this blank abyss. The glistening shards of ice only serve as encouragement. Just a bit further until endless warmth and sanctuary.

Soon they’ll be at peace. Soon they’ll be complete.

Snow swirls around like an ominous vortex. There’s more sky than ground now.

The full moon peeks out from behind the mountaintop. They dash forward until all they feel is wind.

~|~|~|~

Jinsoul rows with all her strength. The waves rattle the small vessel, sloshing saltwater around her feet. Her hat had been stolen by the gust. Golden hair whips around wildly in a gale that rivals the sea currents. The oars resist. Her arms feel like they no longer belong to her. She pushes, further across the blue expanse until it meets the saturated grey sky. Lightning touches the horizon. It’s almost time. The boat rises and falls. She rocks back and forth to keep momentum. Two bolts in succession. She tosses the oars aside and they drift a mile away in the blink of an eye. Kneeling at the boat’s edge, she wraps a trembling hand around the two rings on a chain. She holds them close to her heart, extracting a warmth that seeps from the metal into her soul. She whispers a prayer to the whistling wind, then dives in. She kicks, sinking deeper and deeper until it’s calm all around. She flips herself over and her dress flutters about. She lies peacefully, suspended in the water.

Soon she’ll be free. Soon she’ll be complete.

Thunder rolls across the world as she closes her eyes.

Lightning strikes thrice above her. She breathes.

~|~|~|~

There’s nothing to see. Nothing to touch. No flesh can withstand entering this plane. This plane that transcends all others, watches over and lies in wait. Hearts encompass the most vivid experiences, the rawest emotions, stripped bare for all.

Souls do not wander. They suffer then thrive. They seek solace. They find it here.

There’s nothing to hide.

Yves rises from above. Jinsoul falls from below. Haseul runs and takes them in their arms.

With one eternal smile, they are complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from the video game Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories.


End file.
